Each of us have some trigger points which makes us get angry easily. What's yours?
For me, when a person disagrees with me, even when they are expressing their thoughts very politely or the topic is very minor, I lose patience and get angry. This is absolutely bad for both parties!
When a person is angry, he/she will enter a defensive mode, and the situation could get only worsen if any party lose control. One loses the ability to solve a problem by make judgement emotionally instead of logically.
So...what to do? How to turn the situation from negative and anger to positive?
Here are some tips which works for me:
For me, when a person disagrees with me, even when they are expressing their thoughts very politely or the topic is very minor, I lose patience and get angry. This is absolutely bad for both parties!
When a person is angry, he/she will enter a defensive mode, and the situation could get only worsen if any party lose control. One loses the ability to solve a problem by make judgement emotionally instead of logically.
So...what to do? How to turn the situation from negative and anger to positive?
Here are some tips which works for me:
- Stop the conversation. Continue to "argue" will not help but worsen at this point. It's more important to give each party a break.
- Ask yourself Why he/she is doing this or hold such view. We often make decisions based on our experience and perception of environment around us. A misspelling that is acceptable for a John could be like a needle in Mary's eye. Why? It could be because Mary had suffered from a serious customer complaint on a spelling mistake, which brought her lots of trouble. Such experience makes her very alert on such matter. Something important to Mary may not be the same as John's.
- Ask yourself is your own view flawless? While you are standing firm on your view, is it really unbeatable? Be true to yourself!
Remember, the best solution is always Win-Win for both sides, but not to win a fight!
Be happy!
分享二: 如何處理憤怒,重拾快樂?
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